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The Guys' Rules

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by nugget, Sep 30, 2004.

  1. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

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    [font=&quot]Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules![/font]



    [font=&quot]They are all numbered "1" on purpose...[/font]

    [font=&quot] 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.[/font]
    [font=&quot] If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it[/font]
    [font=&quot] down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving[/font]
    [font=&quot] it down. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. Sport. It's like the full moon or the[/font]
    [font=&quot] changing of the tides. Let it be. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going[/font]
    [font=&quot] to think of it that way. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. Crying is backhanded blackmail. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:[/font]
    [font=&quot] Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work![/font]
    [font=&quot] Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to[/font]
    [font=&quot] almost every question. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help[/font]
    [font=&quot] solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your[/font]
    [font=&quot] girlfriends are for. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.[/font]
    [font=&quot] See a doctor. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an[/font]
    [font=&quot] argument. In fact, all comments become null and void[/font]
    [font=&quot] after 7 days. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways[/font]
    [font=&quot] and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant[/font]
    [font=&quot] the other one. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us[/font]
    [font=&quot] how you want it done. Not both. If you already know[/font]
    [font=&quot] best how to do it, just do it yourself. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to[/font]
    [font=&quot] say during the adverts. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and[/font]
    [font=&quot] neither do we. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default[/font]
    [font=&quot] settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour.[/font]
    [font=&quot] We have no idea what mauve is. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we[/font]
    [font=&quot] will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,[/font]
    [font=&quot] but it is just not worth the hassle. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,[/font]
    [font=&quot] expect an answer you don't want to hear. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything[/font]
    [font=&quot] you wear is fine...Really. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. You have enough clothes. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. You have too many shoes. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. [/font]
    [font=&quot] [/font]
    [font=&quot] Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight but[/font]
    [font=&quot] did you know men really don't mind that? It's like[/font]
    [font=&quot] camping.:D [/font]
     
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  2. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Nice one as always, Nugg - just emailed that to my wife :biggrin
     
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  3. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

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    top one Nug :)
    have a beer on me

    VB *toss*
     
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  4. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    Someone emailed that to Lou as a powerpoint file and when she sent it to me I couldnt stop laughing...I thought yes and about damn time too...
     
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  5. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

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    Let's just hope that takes it for what it is mate, I'd hate to be the cause of trouble.

    Oh who am I kidding, you deserve whatever you get.[​IMG]
     
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  6. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    well you forget he is the ARMOUR-dillo...so he cant take it I am sure...
     
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  7. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Well, I haven't heard back from her yet...is that good or bad ? :rolleyes:
     
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  8. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    you know what they say...no news is good news...in the case of a woman...no news means wait till I get home...
     
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  9. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

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    unfortunatly his wife is likely to know every chink in the armor, and every weak spot

    i dont hold much hope for our armoured friend :)
     
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  10. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    LOL - I will live to fight another day....just might be after a "short break" :blink
     
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  11. Bull Gates

    Bull Gates Byte Poster

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    I hope u'll continue to live even after the fight8)
     
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