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The Graces of Faded Angels...

Discussion in 'The Lounge - Off Topic' started by Arroryn, Jan 6, 2008.

  1. Arroryn
    Honorary Member

    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

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    ... is the name of my novel. Well, novel in progress :D

    This thread is 1 part self-indulgent, and 3 parts motivational, being as I have the kind of self esteem that means I have to show stuff I do to people every so often, and go 'What do you think? Have I gone wrong yet?

    Aaaanyway... I have direct questions to ask of the starting excerpt of my novel, for anyone that has an interest in fantasy fiction, or indeed any style of fiction, who doesn't mind constructively criticising... things :rolleyes:

    Yeah yeah I know I'm rambling.

    Anyway, the first 13 pages are on the attached PDF, and the questions I have are as follows:

    1. Would you read on?
    2. Is the writing style good? ie - flowing, easy to read - the kind of thing a publisher may pay attention to :tongue
    3. Is the plot obvious from the first pages?
    4. Does it read like 'stereotypical' fantasy fiction?

    Writing means a lot to me, but I don't often share my work, so I reach points in most projects where I think 'meh... why?'. I'm at that point at the moment with the Graces, so have resorted to writing some short stories and rewriting old poems. Anyway. Enough rambling. I have to go and brush my teeth :blink

    EDIT: and if you think it's crap, then please, tell me so. I can take it. I'm a big girl.
     
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  2. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    Now I am going to be honest, I havent read any novels for about oooh 10+ years now...and I normally ready fantasy stuff...especially david eddings.

    After readin just the prologue, i was very moved. I think u have something here Arroryn...the start of the prologue was perfect...u went straight into it without any hesitation, the relationship between the man and woman was brilliant. What I love most about fantasy stories is that I tend to picture them in my head as to how I feel the characters would look like...if u do eventually get this published i would be the first in line to buy it and make sure i get ur autograph...its fantastic and thats just from the prologue...:biggrin

    i wouldnt say the plot is obvious from the first few pages...more like ur giving us an insight as to what to expect at some point in the story...cos clearly whatever happened in the prologue will come up again in the story but it dont necessarily mean thats the story or the plot...i prefer to figure those out for myself whilst reading the book...makes the mind wander alot and keeps u thinking...:biggrin but thats just me...
     
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  3. Tinus1959

    Tinus1959 Gigabyte Poster

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    I love this sort of books. I agree with noel, it's a catchy start. Let me know when you have it in print.
     
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  4. wagnerk
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    wagnerk aka kitkatninja Moderator

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    Not bad, I like it. Based loosely on your life, as one of your characters has the same name? :biggrin

    -ken
     
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  5. Arroryn
    Honorary Member

    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

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    My name is taken from that character... maybe some loosely based personality traits :biggrin it's been a WIP for a while... all 4 books are in my head, I'm just in the process of getting it all written down coherently! :oops:
     
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  6. BosonMichael
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    BosonMichael Yottabyte Poster

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    Downloaded for later.
     
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  7. Leehaa

    Leehaa Gigabyte Poster

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    Downloaded it for later...

    I' sure you can trust everyone here, but hope that you have put copyright on it or ay least can prove it's yours!! x
     
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  8. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    Thats exactly what she has done...when u read it u will see it spread right across the pages...

    Like I said Arroryn...the sooner u get this in the shops the sooner I will be in line to buy a copy...:biggrin
     
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  9. Arroryn
    Honorary Member

    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

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    It's watermarked, and I have several 'poor copyright' editions, up to varying points throughout the novel. Oh, I'm covered, just incase anyone wants to try to steal it.

    Plus it's just an excerpt. They'd have to have the same kind of brain as me to still end up with the same story. And if they've got the same brain as me, I feel utterly, utterly sorry for them :rolleyes::twisted:
     
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  10. tripwire45
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    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    I gave it a quick scan and the first thing that caught my attention was that I had to try and figure out who "she" and "her" was in the first page or two. I figured it out given the context, but the fact that it was noticeable, mean that you aren't looking at your work from the perspective of a reader who is completely unfamiliar with the world you're creating.

    This is actually pretty common. You are really familiar with the characters, plot, circumstances and such and so don't see the areas that might baffle a reader completely new to your creation. I'll have to give the PDF a closer examination when I get the time. Just thought I'd offer some "introductory" feedback now.

    When I got to the "pointed ears" and feline eyes" part, I realized that this is the sort of story my daughter would enjoy. She writes stories and draws pictures of these sorts of characters and occasionally posts them on the web. I might pass this over to her, since I think the genre is more up her alley. :wink:
     
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  11. Leehaa

    Leehaa Gigabyte Poster

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    That was enjoyable. Would certainly give it a go if I happened to pick it up off the bookshelf, and read the first two pages (which is what I have done for the last 20 odd books i've purchased!)

    Keep going!!
     
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  12. Arroryn
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    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

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    Thanks for your encouragement so far guys, and for the advice.

    Trip - I do try to read my work back through from an objective viewpoint, but when the characters have been running around my head starting riots for the last couple of years, I probably do assume a certain level of familiarity :p

    Will re-read, and see what I can do to make the references clearer.
     
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  13. VantageIsle

    VantageIsle Kilobyte Poster

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    I'm not the best person to be giving feedback considering my standard of english is dire and I'm not familiar with the fantasy genre (Tolken, the hobitt? that kind of stuff:oops:) so if you'll excuse my ignorence in advance please.

    Having just read pages 1-5 (Prologue) quickly I can say the text flows well and images of the characters are quickly painted in the minds eye.
    Nothing jutted or stopped the flow of reading if that makes any sense. I will re-read at the the weekend and hopefully offer some more constructive feedback.

    Good luck with your book BTW, keep going:biggrin
     
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  14. BosonMichael
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    BosonMichael Yottabyte Poster

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    Well, I've made it to step two: I've printed it, in the hopes of carrying it with me somewhere and finding some quality time to read it. :D
     
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  15. rax

    rax Megabyte Poster

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    I'm reading this right now..

    I have to say thus far, I'm quite enjoying it but the one thing that's bothering me is:-

    When I get to the end, I'm going to want more! :cry:

    When I finished the final Harry Potter book I was gutted and I couldn't believe *that* was it.

    Since then, I've struggled to get into anything, I keep trying books and then giving up a few chapters in because they just ain't "doing it" for me.

    I think, so far, what you have is good. There seems to be some grammar and wording things though, I'm not that good at English but I do notice some parts don't "flow" quite the way they should. I think if you were getting it released it would be checked over by someone though right?

    Keep up the good work though.

    Dave
     
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  16. Mitzs
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    Mitzs Ducktape Goddess

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    Actually I like books that are like that. It gives you a hint of whats to come yet you can't figure out the plot right off the bat. It is exciting, thats leaves you hanging and wanting more. Arr I have to say I've only gotten to page 6 so far but for me it is one of them books that I would hate to lay down at night and instead stay up and read it though. I love it arr please finish this one or I may have to swim over there and choke the ending out of you! :biggrin
     
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  17. Arroryn
    Honorary Member

    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

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    Thanks all for the continuing advice and encouragement :biggrin it is giving me the kick up the behind I needed!

    If anyone does feel compelled to read what I've written so far, I'm about 40,000 words in (about halfway on the first novel) - the PDF on the board is round about an eighth of that, I think.

    If you want to have a butcher's and be my guinea pig(s) drop me a PM, or reply to the thread.

    Ta! :tongue
     
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  18. Mitzs
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    Mitzs Ducktape Goddess

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    Well send it to me then hun! And I think you need to start looking around for a publisher.
     
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  19. Arroryn
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    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

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    Here ya go then. 85 pages (so far) of Grace...ness.

    A note on the text - ** denotes detail that is missing, that I have earmarked to revisit. It's easier to find than trying to 'search' back for text :D
     
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  20. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

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    I used to be a member of the BBC Get Writing forum.

    It was brilliant - a writers version of CF.
    There were boards for all kinds of writing talents, and peers would always review your work.

    Sadly, it has now passed away, but I still keep in touch with many of the people that were involved.

    Aaaroyn - your story isn't 'my cup of tea'.
    I forced myself to read LOTR, and didn't enjoy that either.

    Having said that, you have a brilliant writing style and I think you will one day hit the jackpot!
     
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