The Farmer's Daughter

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In light of Russell Brand sparking complaints at the Brits, thought I'd send a risque joke to liven up Friday

Peace out

A travelling salesman is driving through some countryside late one night. Suddenly, in the middle of nowhere, there is a loud clunk from the engine and his car grinds to a jerky halt.

'shite!' he mutters, as he reaches for his mobile to call the AA, only to find his battery has just run dead.

'Double shite!' he curses and ponders his next move, before noticing in the distance a farm house with a light on in a window.

He rushes across the field and knocks on the door, as a burly farmer answers

'Yes sir, 'ow can I 'elp you' says the farmer.

'Sir, please help me. My car has broken down and my battery is dead on my phone. It is very late and I was wondering if I could have a room for the night whilst I charge my phone to get my car fixed in the morning?' says the salesman

The farmer rubs his stubbly chin and looks at the man. 'Alroight then'. he says. 'But your gonna 'ave to be sharing a room with my daughter though, you'd better not touch her or anything!'

'No no, God forbid' says the salesman. 'Thank you very much for your kindness. I think I'll retire now'.

The salesman creeps into the room and notices the farmer's daughter already in bed, so he leaves the light off and undresses into his PJs silently so as not to disturb her. He gently gets into the bed next to her and lays there for a minute. She hasn't moved a muscle in this time, so he concludes she must be fast asleep. At this point, desire gets the better of him as she still remains unmoved as he runs his hand up and down her body, and he thinks to himself 'she'll never know' as he removes his pyjama bottoms......

The next morning, he thanks the kind farmer.

'That's alroight'. syas the farmer. 'But you didn't go meddling with my daughter or anything did you?'

'No no no' stammered the salesman. 'I must say she was very silent and didn't move all night'

'That'll be roight' says the farmer. 'We're gonna bury her this morning'