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The 2003 Darwin Awards

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by tripwire45, Apr 22, 2004.

  1. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    I'll print the whole text rather than the link. I saw this at our "sister" site: securelyspeaking.com.

    The 2003 Darwin Award winner:


    1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
    during a hold up in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked...

    And now, the Honorable Mentions:


    1. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat- cutting
    machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
    insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

    2. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
    during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

    3. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

    4. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

    5. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
    counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

    6. A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and
    carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F****** UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the sniggers started. The security guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ***** -up!"

    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heave it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
    grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

    A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!


    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
     
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  2. mattwest

    mattwest Megabyte Poster

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    AMAZING how many stupid people there are in the world isnt it!!

    What would we do for entertainment otherwise tho??!!

    :lol:
     
    Certifications: See my signature...
    WIP: Maybe re-certify my CCNA
  3. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

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    Darwin would be so proud
     
    Certifications: MCSE, MCITP, VCP
    WIP: > 0

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