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Protection

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Phoenix, Jan 5, 2005.

  1. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

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    CONDOMS!!!

    Imagine if all the major retailers started making their own condoms
    but kept their own tag-lines.....



    Sainsbury condoms - making life taste better
    Tesco Condoms - every little helps
    Nike Condoms - Just do it
    Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life
    Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk
    KFC Condoms - Finger Licking good
    Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hand
    Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load
    Abbey National Condoms - because life is complicated enough
    Coco Cola Condoms - The real thing
    Ever Ready Condoms - keep going and going
    Macintosh Condoms - It does more, it costs less, it´s that simple
    Pringles Condoms - once you pop, you can´t stop
    Burger King Condoms - Home of the Whopper
    Goodyear Condoms - "for a longer ride, go wide"
    FCUK Condoms - no comment required
    Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where´s the pain?
    Flash Condoms - Just sit back, relax and let flash do all the hardwork
    Halford Condoms - we go the extra mile
    Royal Mail Condoms - I saw this and thought of you
    Andrex Condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
    Renault Condoms - size really does matter!
    Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin
    Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in about 30 minutes
    Domestos Condoms - gets right under the rim!!
    Heineken Condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
    Carlsburg Condoms - probably the best condom in the world

    Mars Condoms - a condom a day helps you work rest and play
    AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service
    Pepperoni Condoms - its a bit of an animal
    Polo Condoms - the condom with the hole!! (VERY poor seller !!)


     
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  2. punkboy101
    Honorary Member

    punkboy101 Back from the wilderness

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    ROTFLMAO!!!!!

    Thanks for that Pheonix [​IMG][​IMG]
     
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  3. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    Some of these are old advertisements...but I don't watch a lot of TV anymore:

    Avis condoms: We're number two...we try harder.
    Coca-Cola condoms: It's the real thing.
    Diet-Coke condoms: Just for the taste of it.
    US Postal Service condoms: We deliver.
    Hallmark condoms: When you care enough to send the very best.
    Dodge Truck condoms: We're Ram tough!
    United Airline condoms: Fly United.
    United Airline condoms (later commercial): Fly the friendly skies.
    Trix cereal condoms: Silly rabbit...Trix are for kids. :eek:

    That's probably enough for now. :oops:
     
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  4. SimonV

    SimonV Petabyte Poster Administrator

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    ROTFLMAO
    [​IMG]
     
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  5. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    Police Department condoms: To protect and to serve.

    State Farm Insurance condoms: Like a good neighbor...State Farm is there.

    Allstate Insurance condoms: You're in good hands with Allstate.

    Timex watch condoms: It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

    Charmin toilet paper condoms: Please don't squeeze the Charmin.

    Camp coffee condom: Mmmm! Camp. Another Tarry Goo You Eat!

    Oscar Meyer Hot Dog condoms: "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner...that is what I truly want to be...for if I were an Oscar Meyer weiner...everyone would be in love with me".

    Toys-R-Us condoms: I don't wanna grow up...I'm a Toys-R-Us kid.

    Oh...I'll give it a rest. :-p
     
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  6. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    LOL :biggrin


    Do the Police Department use truncheons ??? :blink
     
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  7. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    That comment is sure asking for abuse but I think I'll keep the thread just barely on this side of good taste. :-p
     
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  8. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    Here we go again:

    Almond Joy condoms: "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. Almond Joy's got nuts, Mounds don't."

    Big Red Gum condoms: Kiss a little longer with Big Red Gum.

    Cracker Jacks condoms: Candy-coated popcorn, peanuts, and a prize, that's what you get in Crackerjack.

    Doublemint Gum condoms: Double your pleasure, double your fun with Doublemint, Doublemint, Doublemint gum.

    Fig Newton condoms: Fruit Chewy.

    Klondike Bar condoms: What would you do for a Klondike Bar.

    Camel Cigarette condoms: I'd walk a mile for a Camel. :blink

    Nestle's Chocolate condoms: Nestle's makes the very best...chocolate.

    Oreo Cookie Condoms: Do you know exactly how to eat an Oreo cookie? Well, to do it, you unscrew it, very fast. Cause a kid'll eat the middle of an Oreo first, and save the chocolate cookie outside for last.

    Reeses Peanutbutter Cup condoms: You get two great tastes in one candy bar.

    Ruffles Potato Chip condoms: Ruffles have ridges.

    Sara Lee condoms: Everybody doesn't like something, but nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.

    Tootsie Pop condoms: How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

    Tootsie Roll condoms: Yes, bar candy disappears in a few bites. And bag candy disappears in a few gulps. But when other candies are all gone, chewy, chewy Tootsie Roll goes on and on.

    Ok...now it's time for me to hide. :oops:
     
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  9. Rosy
    Honorary Member

    Rosy Megabyte Poster

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    Stop it please, can't breathe!!! :lolbang
     
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  10. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

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    Trip i never knew you had it in you
    good job :D
     
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  11. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    ROTFLMAO - agreed with those last two - has someone rolled you back a few cheeky decades there, Mr Wire45 ???

    Best keep these out of sight of the Missus :oops:
     
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  12. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    The Missus has no idea how to get here, Gav. I found a site with a list of old commercial jingles and couldn't resist. It's amazing what an innocent ad jingle will turn into when you just add the word "condom".

    You realize of course, this could go on forever.
    :eek:
     
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  13. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    lol - you got me thinking now....

    The Kellogs Condom - Rise and shine ?
    The Intel Condom - Pentium Inside ?
    IBM (if I get this right) Condom - Always on ? or is it "self-healing" ?

    (sorry if any of those were done in the above lists ?) :oops:
     
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