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Or Turkish Star Wars?

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by JonnyMX, Oct 18, 2008.

  1. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

    This is gripping stuff - possibly the most exciting film I've seen for ages.
    It is a masterpiece of video editing.
    It combines some of the best bits of Star Wars with what looks like 70's Dr Who.
    The soundtrack is an off-key mix of Battlestar Galactica and Buck Rogers.
    It seems to be made by 'Kunt Film' and it shows.

    But the best bit is the intro storyline - all set against the backdrop of random scenes
    cut out from other people's films.

    I enjoyed it so much, I typed it up for you in case you couldn't be bothered to wait for the
    whole thing to download over turkish dial-up.

    It gets increasingly bizarre as it goes on.
    I've typed it exactly how it appears, but I've tried to stick the sentences together where possible.

    'By sailing of mankind into space for the first time and landing on the moon,
    the space age begins.
    The space age is a progression era for mankind.
    Thousands of years they lived this way.
    Space age had been passed,
    life and time reached to the galaxy age.
    Hundreds of thousands years had been passed and earth and planets system in space
    turned into the galaxy system.
    Civilizations and history had become past,
    mankind started to be contended with a simple life style as in primitive ages.

    (Up till this point, it sounds pretty tame.)

    And with all their power they initiated relentless struggle and effort to find immortality
    and sustain continuous life.
    In this era earth nations, civilizations, races and religions ceased to be seperate countries
    and did become one entity.
    Only one earthly life form and tribe consisted the humans of the earth in galaxy age.

    (there's always something - eternal life! But still, everything seems calm.)

    Earth was facing the danger of extinction as a result of a crazy nuclear armament.
    Earth had avoided such dangers a couple of times before;
    ...not single force had been able to destroy the earth.

    (uh-oh, bit of danger, but we're still OK.)

    However in some cases earth had been disintegrated into parts.

    (Well that was close. Sounds like a lucky escape.)

    Parts which fragmented off from the earth had become meteor rocks in space.
    On some planets life was still going on.
    However nuclear war gained momentum.

    (What war? What happened to the simple lifestyle?)

    For the sake of ruling and becoming more powerful,
    ...while the beautiful and happy world was madly destroyed;

    (This was presumably one of the parts that hadn't been disintegrated.
    I also like the way it was done madly. That's how I destroy happy things.)

    ...suddenly it came across with a mysterious and very strong enemy.
    Our world which had been formed into matter from rays and energy five billion years ago;
    got fragmented into dust clouds under the influence of laser rays in the galaxy age..

    (The excitement continues to build. The fragments of the earth that had not disintegrated or madly destroyed have now been fragmented into dust by a laser weilded by a very strong enemy.)

    Who was this enemy?
    In which galaxy was he?

    (He's over there. In case you hadn't guessed, in the background the Death Star is blowing up a planet.)

    All humans used one single weapon against this danger.
    They started to resist with a crust which was welded with human brain and willpower.
    A coating which was formed by compressed human brain molecules was protecting the earth.

    (Eeew! Gross. Hang on a minute - what earth would this be. Surely there can't be any left. Oh well, there must be. So lets smear a brain crust on it like Keith Floyd might.)

    Earth was turning into a dust cloud under every attack and was hiding behind the protecting shield.
    The only power which could breach this shield was a weapon to be constructed with human brain and will power.
    But in reality, how strong their weapons be; the enemies of the earth in galaxy; did not have brains.

    (The can write awesome subtitles though.)

    The value of the world and the humans in infinity was the greatest weapon.
    Humans started to search for this unknown enemy,
    however not single warrior sent returned back.

    (That's because the enemy was scooping out their brains for the brain cannon.)

    Humans gathered; tribes united and tried to find a solution.

    (So what happened to 'In this era earth nations, civilizations, races and religions ceased to be seperate countries and did become one entity'?)

    Only solution was to find the enemy and fight with it.

    (Oi, you, outside now!)

    Strongest and greatest two Turkish warriors and other humans sailed into space and declared war to the unknown enemy.
    Some humans did not get involved in this war.

    (The must have been the ones that had been disintegrated, nuked, lasered and turned into a dust cloud. Poofters.)

    But every human who could combine his imagination with reason and reality was
    determined to join and win this war.'

    (Wow, see what I mean, then two mighty turks fly off in Tie Fighters to fight with an unknown enemy
    that they couldn't find.)

    Certifications: MCT, MCTS, i-Net+, CIW CI, Prince2, MSP, MCSD

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