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MAN'S REVENGE

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by mattwest, Apr 21, 2004.

  1. mattwest

    mattwest Megabyte Poster

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    We may make it look easy but,

    It is tough being a man.....

    If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the
    rat race, you're a male chauvinist.

    If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

    If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

    If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

    If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is
    exploitation.

    If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get
    off your ass and find something better.

    If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.

    If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

    If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

    If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

    If you cry, you're a wimp.

    If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.

    If you thump her, it's wife bashing.

    If she thumps you, it's self-defense.

    If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.

    If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated
    woman.

    If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's
    domination.

    If she asks you, it's a favor.

    If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a
    pervert.

    If you don't, you're gay.

    If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're
    sexist.

    If you don't, you're unromantic.

    If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

    If you don't, you're a slob.

    If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

    If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

    If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself.

    If you don't, you're not ambitious.

    If she has a headache, she's tired.

    If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

    If you want it too often, you're oversexed.

    If you don't, there must be someone else.

    NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN......

    ......THEY WANT TO!

    :tongue
     
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    WIP: Maybe re-certify my CCNA
  2. AJ

    AJ Administrator Administrator

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    Nice one Matt

    :lol:
     
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  3. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    So true, Matt - so very true :roll:

    :wink:
     
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  4. mattwest

    mattwest Megabyte Poster

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    Am i going to get the "whip" from rosey for that one ?

    :eek:

    ??

    (I dont mind really! :wink: )

    Matt

    :D
     
    Certifications: See my signature...
    WIP: Maybe re-certify my CCNA
  5. SimonV

    SimonV Petabyte Poster Administrator

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    ROTFLMA
    [​IMG]
     
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  6. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

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    Oh Matt, what can I say except how true it ALL is.

    Now watch the :bud (Rosy) charge into the fray with the whip (I think it's fixed now). :lol:
     
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  7. mattwest

    mattwest Megabyte Poster

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    I'm waiting... the nerves are starting to fray...!

    But i never seem to be online when she is, so for now.... i am safe.....

    :roll:

    If you hear my screams for help....!!

    :wink:
     
    Certifications: See my signature...
    WIP: Maybe re-certify my CCNA
  8. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    I haven't seen the female membership post in here yet. Either they don't care, they don't have the nerve to read it, or Si has found a way to block Rosy from accessing it. :D
     
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  9. mattwest

    mattwest Megabyte Poster

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    Certifications: See my signature...
    WIP: Maybe re-certify my CCNA
  10. flex22

    flex22 Gigabyte Poster

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  11. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    We're all dead men when the ladies read this...except for me of course. They aren't going to come all the way over the Atlantic and most of the US continent to get me...maybe. :eek:
     
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  12. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Hey, I think I just heard Rosy pull up outside ...

    What's that she's holding - a US route guide ? :scratch

    :usa :snipersm:
     
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  13. Greebo

    Greebo Byte Poster

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    :roll:
     
  14. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    2 questions:

    1.) Why do women have one shoulder bigger than the other ?


    It's obvious - to carry that enormous chip ! :wink:
    (special thanks to Greebo for demonstrating that so well there :-)


    and...


    2.) Why do women have smaller feet than men ?





    >





    >





    >






    > So that they can get closer to the sink :P
    :lol:
     
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  15. Greebo

    Greebo Byte Poster

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    THE MOODS OF A WOMAN:

    An angel of truth and a dream of fiction, A woman is a bundle of
    contradiction, She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse, But will tackle a stranger alone in the house. Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose, She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose, She'll win you in rags, enchant you in silk, She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk, At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad, She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.


    THE MOODS OF A MAN:

    Hungry. Horny. Sleepy.
    8) :rolleyes:
     
  16. AJ

    AJ Administrator Administrator

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    Oh dear Gav

    I've got some nice 6 inch nails for your coffin when Rosy gets here. :eek:
     
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    WIP: Looking at doing ..................
  17. Phil
    Honorary Member

    Phil Gigabyte Poster

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    aaand your point is? :D
     
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  18. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Simplicity in itself, Greebo. Who needs the extra complications ?


    :tongue v :squarecy:
     
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  19. Rosy
    Honorary Member

    Rosy Megabyte Poster

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    Hey guys - so what did I miss? :wink:

    Don't worry guys - you're safe in here as the old whip has to stay at the door - just wait till tomorrow night though boys! :cracking :twisted:

    Oh and Matt - don't worry I WILL catch you online sometime! :snipersm: :devilfla:
     
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  20. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

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    Look out, I think you're a goner now.[​IMG]
     
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