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Long, but some are good...

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by punkboy101, Aug 26, 2004.

  1. punkboy101
    Honorary Member

    punkboy101 Back from the wilderness

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    Hi all, just found this when looking for a result to my PC anywhere problem. It's long, but some of them are good. Make's you realise there are just some people who shouldn't be allowed near computers. lol :blink

    probly especially funny if you work for an ISP, as you can relate to some of the stories I'm sure.

    http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_online.shtml

    Andy
     
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  2. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    so far that rocks mate...quality stuff..it sure does make you think doesnt it...
     
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  3. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

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  4. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    I couldnt help it guys I had to show this one...it made me laugh I nearly laughed out loud at work...

    • Tech Support: "Ok, sir, to finish opening your account, I will need you to provide a credit card number."
    • Customer: "All right, hold on."
    [some rustling sounds]
    • Customer: "Ok, do you have it yet?"
    • Tech Support: "Well, no, You haven't given it to me yet."
    • Customer: "Sure I did. I just stuck it in this slot in the front of this computer."
    I dont care what anyone says...thats got to be the funniest one yet...hahahaha!!!

    EDIT: here is another one just after the one above...
    • Customer: "Hi. I'm trying to buy something on the Internet, and the web site wants my credit card."
    • Tech Support: "Ok. If your positive it's a secure connection, and you're on a reputable dealer's site, go ahead and enter the numbers."
    • Customer: "Well, every time I insert my credit card, nothing happens. Now it's stuck."
    • Tech Support: "What?! Insert your card? What do mean it's stuck?"
    • Customer: "It won't come out of the slot."
    I decided to see exactly what she was talking about. My fears were confirmed when I arrived at her cubicle. She had been trying to slide the card into the floppy drive and managed to push it all the way in. I decided to have fun with her and told her it was being electronically sent over the line to the web site. She stared at me with a look of shock on her face, and said something I'll never forget: "Is that what they mean by 'Credit card transactions can take twenty-four hours to process.'?"

    Can you believe people actually do this? How shocking is it?
     
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  5. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

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    as i said
    paranoia and smoke are far funnier sections :)

    I was once using the generic telnet program on the library computers to check my mail on UTM (the local university) with Pine. The computer-inept librarian walked up behind me.

    Her: (shrieking) "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
    Me: "I'm checking my email--"
    Her: "It looks like you're breaking into the computer!!"
    Me: "No really -- I'm checking my mail."
    Her: "But that's not HOTMAIL!!"
    Me: "I don't use hotmail. I use--"
    Her: "But EVERYONE uses HOTMAIL!!"
    Me: "No, my account goes through UTM. My email account ends with--"
    Her: "But that's not what MYYY UTM looks like!!" (apparently referring to the UTM web page)
    Me: "Yes, I'm telnetting. It's another way of accessing--"
    Her: "I think you better shut that off. You're breaking into the computer."
    Me: "But I--"
    Her: "Turn it off. I don't believe that 'checking mail' story."


    ----

    When in college, I had to make a fake advertisement for a class. I had a GIF that I downloaded that I wanted to put into it, so I sat down at the only Mac that was connected to the scanner in the school's computer lab. For some reason, it couldn't open the file, and the program crashed repeatedly. I got a lab technician to come over, and I explained the problem. She asked what I did to it and got angry with me. So I went to the Mac next to the one I was on and opened the picture in the same program. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was responsible for ruining the computer.

    Me: "I scanned these pictures in, then tried to open this GIF I downloaded."
    Her: "What? You can't do that! That type of a file is for Windows machines only! It isn't supported on Macs."
    Me: "No, it is a standard graphic file. It can be opened on either machine."
    Her: "No it can't! You might have to pay to fix this."
    Me: "If it can't open on a Mac, how did I get it to open on this Mac right here? See?"
    Her: "Don't do that! You're gonna break that one also."

    To protect her computer from evil me, she leaned over and flipped the power switch off.
     
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  6. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    Oh my God...talk about paranoia indeed...why do these people even bother with computers and internet if they dont have a flaming clue? but then what would the world be like without them...
     
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  7. punkboy101
    Honorary Member

    punkboy101 Back from the wilderness

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    This is definetly a favorite:




    I work as a computer tech at a community college. Most of our computers are currently running Windows 95. One day, an officer from our security department stopped by to talk to me. His face looked grim. He pulled me quietly aside.

    • Officer: "We have a new part time person working in our office who uses the computer, and I have to ask you something, but you need to keep this confidential."
    • Me: "Ok, what's the problem?"
    • Officer: "Well, over the past two or three days I've glanced over at the new person's computer, and several times I've seen a message that says 'You have performed an illegal operation,' but he keeps clearing it by clicking something. I need to find out what he's doing wrong and if we should call the local police."
    He looked so scared and serious, I had a hard time containing my laughter.



    Could you amagine that happening?!?!?!? :eek: lol
     
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  8. flex22

    flex22 Gigabyte Poster

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    OMFG:!:
    Sorry but I would just p myself laughing, never mind trying to contain myself.
    Lol:!:
     
  9. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    I just realised that reading these could be a useful learning curve for all of us as they not only highlight just how stupid people can be but also what course of action us techs should take to resolve such problems...in case we ever do run into people like them....and no doubt we will...dont mean to be prude but I would put Lou's mum in the same category but she is not as bad as these people...she knows how to use a keyboard and can be good when she puts her mind to it...but other than that not very good knowledge...but she does her best and I love her for that and thats why I am glad she will be my future mother in law...someone I can dictate how to use their PC....:twisted:
     
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  10. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    Oh my god...you wont believe what happened...and to think I thought it would never happen in this type of call center. a customer came on the line and I asked her for the faulty telephone number...she pressed a number..then said she will need to start again...so I asked her again for the faulty number and she proceeded to dial her number rather than read it out!! :hahaha I thought there is no way this is happening...I was laughing so much I had to put her back in the Q and let someone else answer her problem...so long as she doesnt dial her number this time....I never thought it would happen to me...:hahaha
     
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  11. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    Thought I would add one of my own....I remember being in college back in London and at the time I was one the so called whizz kids at PCs (bearing in mind it was my second year of learning about them) and I remember one of my fellow students sitting next to me frantically trying to turn off the PC. I moved over and asked

    'what are you trying to do?'
    'I am trying to this damn thing off...but the button wont even budge.'
    'which button are you pressing?'
    *indicating to the floppy disk button* 'this one!!'
    I wanted to laugh but felt really bad and just casually pointed their finger to the actual power button..'thats the button you want'

    you can imagine the faceless expression on the poor student. what a sight :hahaha
     
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  12. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    This is for anyone who has a partner that smokes and uses a PC...

    A friend of mine asked me to take a look at her computer. She said the computer was unusually "quiet" and would reboot itself on occasion. I surmised correctly that the fan on her power supply was faulty. She was a chain smoker and apparently smoked a lot while working on the computer; not only was the power supply fan gummed up with revolting tar and nicotine, but the CPU's cooling fan was clogged beyond use, and the cdrom drive drawer would not open. This is the only computer I have ever worked on that died from smoking.

    I told Lou I will show her it...
     
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  13. punkboy101
    Honorary Member

    punkboy101 Back from the wilderness

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    I have seen that before, and as a result, i no longer smoke around my equipment. The more you see things like that, the more you realise just how delicate computers can be. lol
     
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  14. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    Well I just hope the missus takes note too...
     
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