Lars and the Christtmas Party

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After 25 years in the booze business, Tom had finally had enough and wanted out, so he bought himself 60 acres of land in Alaksa n total isolation.

After 6 months of complete and utter peace and quiet, there's a knock on the door. Tom answers it to find a huge, gruff bearded man standing there.

'Name's Lars' says the man. 'I'm your neighbour from 40 miles west, I'm having a bit of a Christmas party this Friday, about 5pm, fancy coming along'?

'Why yes'. says Tom 'After 6 months of being on my own I feel ready to meet new people now'.

'Great' says Lars and walks away. Then he stops and turns around and says 'Better warn you, there's goin' to be some big drinkin' going on'.

'Not a problem' says Tom 'I've been in the booze industry for 25 years, I can handle my drink'.

'Great' says Lars and starts walking again. Then he stops and says 'Better warn you, proabably goin' to be a lot of fightin' too'

'No worries' says Tom, ' I get along with everyone, part of the job, being sociable'.

'Great' says Lars and starts walking again, then he stops and says 'Better warn you, there's goin' to be some pretty wild sex too'.

'Well' says Tom, warming to the idea 'I certainly don't mind that. By the way, what shall I wear?'

'Doesn't matter much' says Lars 'Just gonna be me and you there'.