If men ruled the world....

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IF MEN RULED THE WORLD....

* Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
* Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
* In order to expedite the sleeping-together part, eye contact would count as a first date.
* Foreplay would be discarded in favor of a new concept: fourplay.
* A man could give up a lucrative job for a career in karting without having to hold a "family meeting."
* Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
* Speaking solely in Clint Eastwood quotes would count as "opening up."
* When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen.
* Brassieres could be unclasped by gently blowing on them.
* You could never be turned down when asking a woman to dance, because there'd be no more fuckin' dancing.
* Answering machines would automatically edit out your lame jokes, coughing fits, and long, anguished pauses.
* When women climaxed, they'd make a noise like a pinball machine.
* Breaking up would be a lot easier-a smack on the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
* Birth control would come in ale or lager.

AH, BUT WHAT IF WOMEN RULED THE WORLD?

* Every time you broke up with a girl, your penis would shrink by one inch.
* In a divorce, the only money a man would be entitled to keep would be one dollar for every minute of postcoital conversation he'd engaged in over the course of the marriage.
* Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
* Terms of Endearment VII
* All men would wear blinders while walking down the street.
* All toilet seats would be bolted to their bowls.

 

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Matt, I've only met a few guys like you...so willing to stick his neck out so a gang of women could chop it off. Good luck, fella. I'm heading for the hills now <hastily exits>.

 

I thought Matt's analysis was full of interesting, thoughtful and most of all, well-balanced ideas and constructs there :hhhmmm

Aaach - bugger that, it was one of the best laughs we've seen in this rich joke-fest of late

 

I thought i'd try and balance things with that one.... it has examples for the women too....!

I am trying....

Anyway i'm running of those kind of jokes!

 

Don't most then? :roll:

 

Do you???

 

Doesn't everyone ?
Or am I the odd one out

 

Are there lights too, or just loud bells and clanging?

 

Never noticed Don't get TILT Well, not often

 

Could ask the hubby, I suppose...

 

Got rid of him 2 yrs ago (no, I didn't kill him)

 

Mysterious disappearence is just is good and no one can pin it on you without a body.

 

Thats the idea mate

 

Nicely brought back round to pinball there, Folks

 

roflmfao