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I may regret this one..........

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by cazzam35, Jan 18, 2005.

  1. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    :twisted:

    -- WOMAN - A Chemical Analysis --

    Element: Woman Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118,
    but know to vary from 175 to 475.

    Symbol: WO
    Discoverer: Adam
    Occurance: Copious quantities in all Urban areas,
    with slighlty lower concentrations in
    Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to
    seasonal fluctuations.

    Physical Properties: 1) Surface usually covered with
    painted film.

    2) Boils at nothing, freezes
    without reason.

    3) Melts if given special
    treatment.

    4) Bitter if used incorrectly.
    Can cause headaches.
    Handle with care!

    5) Found in various states;
    ranging from virgin metal to
    common ore.

    6) Yields to pressure applied to
    correct points.

    Chemical Properties: 1) Has great affinity for Gold,
    Silver, Platinum and many of
    the Precious Stones.

    2) Absorbs great quantities of
    expensive substances.

    3) May explode spontaneously if
    left alone on dates.

    4) Insoluble in liquids, but
    there is increased activity
    when saturated in alcohol
    to a certain point.

    5) Repels cheap material.
    Neutral to common sense.

    6) Most powerful money reducing
    agent known to Man.

    Uses: Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
    Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
    Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
    Can cool things down when it's too hot.

    Tests: Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered
    in natural state.
    Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

    Caution: 1) Highly dangerous except in experienced
    hands. Use extreme care when handling.

    2) Illegal to possess more than one.
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
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  2. Rosy
    Honorary Member

    Rosy Megabyte Poster

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    :dry No comment!
     
    Certifications: MOS Master Instructor
  3. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    I take it you either have woman problems or have a death wish.

    Cheap shot at Rosy? :rolleyes:
     
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  4. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    Thanks a bunch Trip, i'd never noticed that line....

    But thanks for pointing it out to EVERYONE??? lol

    No wasn't a cheap shot at all, but now you've pointed it
    out to her and the rest of the forum.....

    A death wish, very possibly :twisted:
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
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  5. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    Actually, upon reflection it may not be a cheap shot. It says a "pure specimen" turns "rosy pink". This means that our dear Rosy is pure as the driven snow. And any man who says otherwise is sucking up to a severe whipping. :P
     
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  6. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Are you sure - I'm sure I saw some yellow traces last time I looked :p
     
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
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  7. punkboy101
    Honorary Member

    punkboy101 Back from the wilderness

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    :badi :behead


    LMAO
    Oh dear, think you just signed your own death warrant there Jak.
     
    Certifications: CCNA
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  8. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    I'm sure your right Trip, but seems Jak thinks otherwise?

    Did you say a brave man will say otherwise or a stupid man?

    Mind you after a recent conversation with Jak, i'm really
    sure I could get him into bother ROTFLMAO........

    Oh serious bother, I feel your in for a right grilling now mate... :ohmy
     
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  9. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Don't make me laugh - I can take anything that blonde wannabe could ever dream of doing to me :x



    This user now known as:

    CAZZAM35:twisted:
     
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
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  10. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    Now thats what I call a cheap shot!!!

    LMAO

    :respct
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
    WIP: Curr/Supervisor/Duty Mgr/Retail DIY
  11. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Hey, if it takes a cheap shot to get you out of jail .....:biggrin
     
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity
  12. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    Don't you be counting your chickens before they hatch Jak,

    all's quiet at the moment but when the monster awakes,
    and don't worry - she will :p


    I feel you'll be trying to get into jail....

    It may be safer for you, changing your user name won't
    help you then will it mate - dear me.

    It was nice knowing you anyway, you'll be sadly missed..



    :badi
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
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  13. punkboy101
    Honorary Member

    punkboy101 Back from the wilderness

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    You just don't know when to stop digging eh? lol:wink:

    Looks like where gonna have a Certforums whipping and lynching on the same day. :D

    Time to open the books on how long you last.
     
    Certifications: CCNA
    WIP: Nada
  14. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    Cheers mate, I meant that in a nice way. From what I've
    heard she's a very nice person.....No honest! :blink
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
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  15. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    lol - What you guys forget is that Rosy and I go back to the first days of CertForums. I know every trick (well, most) in the book to work my way around her, and if that doesn't work .......








    ...I'll ban her ass right offa these Boards 8)
     
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity
  16. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    mmm, don't think it really matters what I say mate,

    got a feeling your stuffed with that comment really.....

    :tune
     
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  17. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    My, but we've gotten brave, Gav. Of course, since you have ultimate "poof" powers on the boards, I guess it's easy. :biggrin :eek: :oops:
     
    Certifications: A+ and Network+
  18. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    Attention Cert Forum Members;;;

    Position now available for post of Administrator, due to the
    untimely demise and disapearance of our current one. :(

    Was last seen begging for mercy and forgiveness behind the
    scenes in private messages to another party. :rolleyes:

    He will be sadly missed lol :alc
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
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  19. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

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    LMAO @ you lot.

    Keep going guys, just dig the hole a little deeper, maybe she won't see you in there.[​IMG]
     
    Certifications: A+ | Network+ | Security+ | MCP (270,271,272,290,620) | MCDST | MCTS:Vista
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