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I liked them!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by kat731, Oct 25, 2006.

  1. kat731
    Honorary Member

    kat731 Megabyte Poster

    826
    9
    74
    Enjoy some old ones but some good ones too

    >>>>>>Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
    >>>>>>every two hours?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
    >>>>>>are
    >>>>>>flat?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there
    >>>>>>is
    >>>>>>not enough?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
    >>>>>>stars, but
    >>>>>>check when you say the paint is wet?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
    >>>>>>throw a
    >>>>>>revolver at him?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>What is the speed of darkness?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as
    >>>>>>cold
    >>>>>>tomorrow, how cold will it be?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others
    >>>>>>doing
    >>>>>>here?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem
    >>>>>>longer?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Do you cry under water?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
    >>>>>>be a
    >>>>>>good idea to put wheels on luggage?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
    >>>>>>binoculars
    >>>>>>to look at things on the ground?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Did you ever stop and wonder......
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
    >>>>>>squeeze
    >>>>>>these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna
    >>>>>>eat
    >>>>>>the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the
    >>>>>>toast to
    >>>>>>a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
    >>>>>>point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get
    >>>>>>undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
    >>>>>>both
    >>>>>>dogs !
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
    >>>>>>vegetables,
    >>>>>>then what is baby oil made from ?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
    >>>>>>same
    >>>>>>tune?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
    >>>>>>you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
    >>>>>>window?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first
    >>>>>>place?
     
    Certifications: BA (Hons), A+
    WIP: 70-685 77-884
  2. Mr.Cheeks

    Mr.Cheeks 1st ever Gold Member! Gold Member

    5,369
    85
    190
    some proper funny ones there...
     

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