1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Help Desk

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by stuPeas, Jun 19, 2007.

  1. stuPeas

    stuPeas Megabyte Poster

    774
    12
    76
    There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
    Operator: "Went away?"
    Caller: "They disappeared."
    Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
    Caller: "Nothing."
    Operator: "Nothing??"
    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
    Caller: "How do I tell?"
    Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
    Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
    Caller: "What's a monitor?"
    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
    Caller: "I don't know."
    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
    Caller: "Yes, I think so."
    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
    Caller: "Yes, it is."
    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
    Caller: "Okay, here it is."
    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
    Caller: "I can't reach."
    Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
    Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
    Operator: "Dark??"
    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
    " Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Caller: "I can't."
    Operator: "No? Why not??"
    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
    Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
    Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
    Operator: "Tell them you're too f---ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!"
     
    Certifications: C&G Electronic, CIW Associate (v5).
    WIP: CIW (Website Design Manager)
  2. hbroomhall

    hbroomhall Petabyte Poster Gold Member

    6,623
    115
    224
    This one is well known to be not quite true. :p

    More info here at Snopes.

    Harry.
     
    Certifications: ECDL A+ Network+ i-Net+
    WIP: Server+
  3. stuPeas

    stuPeas Megabyte Poster

    774
    12
    76
    I'm always skeptical about these things. Its the first time I've heard this one. I wish I knew it was old, I wouldn't have posted it.:oops:
     
    Certifications: C&G Electronic, CIW Associate (v5).
    WIP: CIW (Website Design Manager)
  4. hbroomhall

    hbroomhall Petabyte Poster Gold Member

    6,623
    115
    224
    Don't worry, you can't be expected to know them all!
    I'm so antique I've heard most of them. And this one was last posted here just under a year ago. <grin>

    Harry.
     
    Certifications: ECDL A+ Network+ i-Net+
    WIP: Server+
  5. zxspectrum

    zxspectrum Gigabyte Poster Premium Member

    1,666
    54
    139
    hey Stu dont spose you have a left handed screwdriver i can borrow have you lol, inly kidding matey

    Ed
     
    Certifications: BSc computing and information systems
    WIP: 70-680
  6. Arroryn
    Honorary Member

    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

    4,009
    186
    209
    's over there, ZX. Right next to the glass hammer. :ohmy
     
    Certifications: A+, N+, MCDST, 70-410, 70-411
    WIP: Modern Languages BA
  7. twizzle

    twizzle Gigabyte Poster

    1,838
    33
    104

    Which is on top of the spare bubble for ya spirit level :twisted:

    To be honest and defend Stu, while that one is as old as the sun it does actually happen. I work in Customer support and the amount of calls i have from customers saying, "We lost power the other day and since then the units not worked can you help?" is unbeliveable.

    Of course the standard reply is now "Take a look at the fron panel... See that little orange dot next to the power light? Try pressing that in. Now does the power light come on? if so dont you now feel silly calling the 24hr support line out of hours???"
     
    Certifications: Comptia A+, N+, MS 70-271, 70-272
    WIP: Being a BILB,
  8. zxspectrum

    zxspectrum Gigabyte Poster Premium Member

    1,666
    54
    139
    Hey Twizzle where did you get that line from the hes got an attitude like a bulldog licking pee from a nettle???

    I use that a lot lol

    Ed
     
    Certifications: BSc computing and information systems
    WIP: 70-680
  9. Mr.Cheeks

    Mr.Cheeks 1st ever Gold Member! Gold Member

    5,369
    85
    190
    Quoted for Truth!

    Cheeks
     
  10. stuPeas

    stuPeas Megabyte Poster

    774
    12
    76
    Yeah, there's one over there near the spare bucket of steam. :biggrin
     
    Certifications: C&G Electronic, CIW Associate (v5).
    WIP: CIW (Website Design Manager)
  11. BosonMichael
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    BosonMichael Yottabyte Poster

    19,136
    462
    374
    ...which is next to the tube of bandwidth grease.
     
    Certifications: CISSP, MCSE+I, MCSE: Security, MCSE: Messaging, MCDST, MCDBA, MCTS, OCP, CCNP, CCDP, CCNA Security, CCNA Voice, CNE, SCSA, Security+, Linux+, Server+, Network+, A+
    WIP: Just about everything!
  12. hbroomhall

    hbroomhall Petabyte Poster Gold Member

    6,623
    115
    224
    Meow! Just because you've met me and seen my Zimmer..... :biggrin

    Harry.
     
    Certifications: ECDL A+ Network+ i-Net+
    WIP: Server+
  13. GrumbleDook

    GrumbleDook Byte Poster

    154
    4
    29
    Or a favourite of mine to the young annoyances when they complain about the slowness of the internet ...

    "I'm sorry ... the Americans have turned it off today. The pipes that carry stuff under the Atlantic keep getting block up with seaweed and need to be cleaned out once in a while, so we are having to use the old cable that goes round the world via Australia instead ... all the internet has further to travel today so it is slower."
     
  14. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

    9,915
    60
    229
    Oooh, now that I like a lot !!! Consider it adapted and used against those fools that pay our wages as from tomorrow :biggrin
     
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity

Share This Page

Loading...