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Fancy yourself as a Phal or Vindaloo hard nut? PREPARE FOR ULTRA SUBMISSION!!!

Discussion in 'The Lounge - Off Topic' started by delorean, Jun 20, 2008.

  1. delorean

    delorean Megabyte Poster

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    So you like to scoff down a plate of Vindaloo without breaking a sweat, your friends are impressed?

    You move up a step and tackle a Phal. Your friends declare you have a stomach made of cast iron. You chuckle to yourself, your stomach full and bubbling as you bask in culinary glory forever more.

    ...until now.

    Fancy yourself as a bit of a ruby murray expert? Are you the big chief every proclaims can eat the hottest foods known to mankind? The wife/husband fed up after your rowdy night out consisting of several noisy pints and a Phal only to climb in to bed and warm her up with the fruitiest, flabbiest eggy woof woofs this side of the Blackwall Tunnel?

    You my friend, are about to be humbled.

    BEHOLD! The hottest hot sauce (well, I guess it's not really in sauce form but you do have to liquify it so it therefor counts as a hot sauce) in the known universe.

    This is it. The big champ, the sultan, the overlord of hot sauce. You simply can NOT buy anything hotter than this. PERIOD.

    I present to you BLAIR'S 16 MILLION RESERVE a hot sauce that measures an eye-watering, skull crushing, nipple planingly horrific 16 MILLION SCOVILLES on the Scoville Scale.

    The Scoville Scale only goes up to 16 Million Scovilles!!

    To put in to context just how hot this stuff is feel free to read the following comparisons:

    1. A jalepeno pepper measures a lowly 2,500–8,000 Scovilles.
    2. A habanero/scotch bonnet pepper measures a paltry 100,000–350,000 Scovilles.
    3. A Naga Jolokia THE OFFICIAL HOTTEST PEPPER IN THE KNOWN WORLD measures a HUMILIATING 855,000–1,041,427 Scovilles.

    For heaven sake, even U.S Grade pepper spray/mace weighs in at a ludicrously weak 2,000,000–5,300,000 Scovilles. Even more embarassingly, this stuff outclasses even FN 303 irritant ammunition (the same Scoville rating as mace)!!!!!!!!!

    Yes my friends, this is PURE CAPSAICIN which weighs in at the top of the chart at 15million to 16million Scovilles. With this stuff obviously being the daddy weighing in at a whopping 16million Scovilles!

    Apparently this stuff comes with a number of disclaimers and you also have to sign a waiver before you even buy it.

    According to reviews I have read online about this (rather pricey stuff), just ONE GRAIN of the stuff mixed with food/water will leave the consumer writhing in agony for days and in some cases even a couple of weeks!

    Is anyone here brave enough to go for this stuff on their chips??


    p.s: I just realized I should be a salesman for this Blair's company, I'm in the wrong job!... :oops:
     
    Certifications: A+, MCP 70-270, 70-290, 70-291
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  2. greenbrucelee
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    greenbrucelee Zettabyte Poster

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    one drop of that stuff in your curry will be enough, I eat hot curries like vindaloo all the time. I have had some stuff before which was like a little crystal and one in the sauce was almost too much.

    I wont be going near it :D
     
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  3. Phoenix
    Honorary Member

    Phoenix 53656e696f7220 4d6f64

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    brave?
    why is it I'm stuck in a world where doing such a dumb thing is considered brave rather than stupid? have the stupid folk really inherited the earth?

    if people want to be macho, go run into a burning building and save a little girl
    don't singe your taste buds off and think your something special!


    </rant>

    Edit: thats not specifically directed at you Del, just the concept in general :)
     
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  4. greenbrucelee
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    greenbrucelee Zettabyte Poster

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    I don't think its special, I have just always liked really hot food.
     
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  5. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

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    Ouch.

    Like the insanity pepper from the Simpsons?

    I still use THIS and don't want anything hotter...
     
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  6. delorean

    delorean Megabyte Poster

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    I really like spicy food. Though I have my limits.

    I've never really seen the point in trying to eat something that tastes of nothing but hot molten lava in my mouth. I'd rather enjoy a nice mild to medium ruby than spend hours after on the toilet writhing in agony necking bottles of Pepto and Rennie while my arse ends up resembling the flag of Japan.

    I like a nice Bhuna or Danzak, maybe a Madras at a push. Sure I've tried Phal and Vindaloo, but they both do nothing for me. Not enjoyable at all.

    One thing I love though is Jerk Chicken. With Cayman being so close to Jamaica, the country has inherited a lot of the Jamaican dishes. Jerk Chicken or Jerk Pork is absolutely glorious. Especially smothered in Grace hot sauce!!!!!!!

    As for this 16 Million Reserve, I wonder if anyone has actually tried it? It says you have to wear protective clothing and gloves before even going near it! Imagine getting that on your hand then rubbing your eye??

    :eek:

    :brancard
     
    Certifications: A+, MCP 70-270, 70-290, 70-291
    WIP: 70-680, S+, MCSA, MCSE, CCNA
  7. greenbrucelee
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    greenbrucelee Zettabyte Poster

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    I can eat phal but it doesn't have a taste because of the heat, with Vindaloo I can taste the spices and it seems ok to me.

    Although most curry houses are different in their levels of hotness. I once had a curry from a place in Glasgow and it was supposed to be a Madras but it was more like a Vindaloo and I have had supposed vindaloos that are like Bhuna :blink
     
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  8. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

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    It's something we always get wrong in the UK.

    If you go to a proper quality Indian restraunt, you can eat anything on the menu without suffering any pain at all.

    The difference between a Madras and a Vindaloo are the ingredients, it's not a heat scale.

    We might as well give them numbers instead of names.
     
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  9. delorean

    delorean Megabyte Poster

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    Most of the stuff churned out from the majority of restaurants is played up to the expectant audience who are presumed to be wanting to writhe in agony at every bite while dousing the flames with an ice cold pint of Kingfisher or equivalent booze.

    It's the same with Chinese food, back in the native country it tastes nothing like what is served to the ROW. I've heard it is the same with Indian cuisine.

    Even still, I have tried 'UK' Phal and Vindaloo on a few occasions and I didn't enjoy them at all. I wonder how those dishes compare over in India?
     
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  10. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

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    Too true!

    I've eaten real Indian food in India.
    It depends, but generally I'd say in the UK we wouldn't touch it with a bargepole.
    Not much meat, powdered milk etc.
    Spices are used to hide the 'normal' taste, not to be heroic.
     
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  11. jamessimo

    jamessimo Banned

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    I have scoffed down Phall before I cheated I was on the Gear LOL:D
     
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  12. greenbrucelee
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    greenbrucelee Zettabyte Poster

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    If you got to india there is no such thing as Madras and Vindaloo, most of the curries are quite dry and the spices used in the marinade the chicken was in is what gives it the spicy hotness.

    It was actually a Bengally in London (I believe) who decided to create Madrasses and Vindaloos

    We have a restaurant in Carlisle where its authentic food, with spicy dips etc, its quite nice.
     
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