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Computer Maintenence

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by postman, Aug 5, 2008.

  1. postman

    postman Byte Poster

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    These are the solutions for fixing any problem you and your computer may experience
    .

    * 1. Kick or punch your PC case until it works again.
    * 2. Go to Start/Execute, type CMD, type del *.* and then say yes. This will delete all viruses and bacteria from your machine. If Unix, Linux, or Mac OSX, open up a command terminal and type rm -rf *. If you have a Mac OS9 or below, then you're screwed.
    * 3. Throw as much dust as you can inside the case.
    * 4. Eat your ram bars. They are said to be healthy.
    * 5. Pray to your noodly master, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
    * 6. Use a Razorgator to clean your motherboard.
    * 7. Rub your feet on high pile carpet or any carpet should do, build up a large amount of static electricity and touch anything inside your computer that's green. this will help jump-start the computer, and clear out the virus cache.
    * 8.Type Porn on Google. Go to the 20th page and click on all the links one by one. These sites contain spyware technology that will automatically remove all anti-spyware programs from your computer.



    http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Computers
     
    WIP: A+
  2. NightWalker

    NightWalker Gigabyte Poster

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    I am sure option 5 is the correct answer to a question in the A+ exam :twisted:
     
    Certifications: A+, Network+, MCP, MCSA:M 2003, ITIL v3 Foundation
  3. twizzle

    twizzle Gigabyte Poster

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    Actually from what i've seen number 8 seems to be a common solution.
     
    Certifications: Comptia A+, N+, MS 70-271, 70-272
    WIP: Being a BILB,
  4. Theprof

    Theprof Petabyte Poster Forum Leader

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    LOL, I say option number 2 would get your mind of the computer for a while, hence less stress. I mean once it's done it's done!
     
    Certifications: A+ | CCA | CCAA | Network+ | MCDST | MCSA | MCP (270, 271, 272, 290, 291) | MCTS (70-662, 70-663) | MCITP:EMA | VCA-DCV/Cloud/WM | VTSP | VCP5-DT | VCP5-DCV
    WIP: VCAP5-DCA/DCD | EMCCA
  5. JoshC

    JoshC Bit Poster

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    tried number 1, then my machine stopped working

    tried number 1 again, and it worked again
     

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