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Chav nativity

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Bluerinse, Dec 14, 2005.

  1. Bluerinse
    Honorary Member

    Bluerinse Exabyte Poster

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    There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)

    She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

    One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?' Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

    So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz,who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an'that we are gonna get. ' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right' Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an'that.

    But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

    Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.

    Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer.

    He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt. ' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay. 'So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that.

    Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.

    APPY CRIMBO
     
    Certifications: C&G Electronics - MCSA (W2K) MCSE (W2K)
  2. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

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    I could just *barely* understand all that. :tongue
     
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  3. Phil
    Honorary Member

    Phil Gigabyte Poster

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    :D excellent
     
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  4. Tyler D

    Tyler D Gigabyte Poster

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    Nice one Bluerinse :p
     
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  5. nugget
    Honorary Member

    nugget Junior toady

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    I'm with Trip on this one. What a braintwister. :thumbleft
     
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  6. moominboy

    moominboy Gigabyte Poster

    read this about ten minutes ago and im still giggling loik a skoolgaaahl!!

    superb mush! :tongue
     
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  7. simongrahamuk
    Honorary Member

    simongrahamuk Hmmmmmmm?

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    Great Stuff!

    I'm Stealin' it! :biggrin
     
  8. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

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    Reminds me of something I've just had to sit through at my son's primary school...
     
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  9. Arroryn
    Honorary Member

    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

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    That's just been circulated on an email around my office. Top laff!!!
     
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  10. Boycie
    Honorary Member

    Boycie Senior Beer Tester

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    ah, cockney slang, can't beat it :tongue
     
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  11. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Blinding, Pete - going round my office shortly as well !! :thumbleft :biggrin
     
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  12. Pady

    Pady Nibble Poster

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    very funny, had to get the kid over the road to translate this for me! :)
     
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  13. damo101

    damo101 Byte Poster

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    top drawer!!!
     
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