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Chav jokes

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Raffaz, Jan 7, 2007.

  1. Raffaz

    Raffaz Kebab Lover Gold Member

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    Some of these are brill, just sat giggling away to myself.....enjoy!
    Definition of a chavm for people outside UK http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chav

    Q. Two chavs jump off a cliff who wins?
    A. Society.

    Q. What does a chav girl use as protection during sex?
    A. Bus shelter.

    Q. What do you call a 30 year old chav girl?
    A. Granny.

    Q. What do you call a chav in a box?
    A. Innit.

    Q. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
    A. Sorted.

    Q. What do you call a chav in a suit
    A. "Will the defendant please rise"

    Q. Why did the chav cross the road?
    A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason what so ever.

    Q. What do you call a chav girl in a white tracksuit?
    A. The bride.

    Q. If you're driving and see a chav on a bike why should you try not to hit him?
    A. It might be your bike.

    Q. What's the first question during a chav quiz night?
    A. What you looking at.

    Q. Why are chavs like slinkey's?
    A. They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs

    Q. Two chavs in a car without any music, who's driving?
    A. The policeman!

    Q. How do you get a hundred chavs in a phonebox?
    A. Paint 3 stripes on it.

    Q. What do you call a hundred chavs at the bottom of the river?
    A. A start.

    Q. Where do you take a chav girl for a decent night out?
    A. Up the arse.

    Q. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a nova a shame?
    A. Because a nova has 4 seats.

    Q. What do you call a chav with 9 gcse's?
    A. A liar.

    Q. What do you say to a chav with a job?
    A. Bigmac please.

    Q. What's the difference between a chav boy and a chav girl?
    A. A chav girl has a higher sperm count.

    Also if i have offended any chavs on the forum, then i just have to say, where did ya steal the computer from?? lol j/k :)
     
    Certifications: A+, MCP, MCDST, AutoCAD
    WIP: Rennovating my house
  2. cazzam35

    cazzam35 Kilobyte Poster

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    I LIKE IT ROTFLMAO :D
     
    Certifications: currently doing A+/MCSE
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  3. Alex Wright

    Alex Wright Megabyte Poster

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    That's excellent!!

    AW
     
    Certifications: 70-680 Configuring Windows 7
    WIP: 70-642
  4. nXPLOSi

    nXPLOSi Terabyte Poster

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    Lol, Top stuff :twisted:
     
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  5. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

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    made me laugh and I needed that...thanks :biggrin
     
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  6. Jakamoko
    Honorary Member

    Jakamoko On the move again ...

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    Brilliant, Raff !!!!! :thumbleft
     
    Certifications: MCP, A+, Network+
    WIP: Clarity
  7. Raffaz

    Raffaz Kebab Lover Gold Member

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    Heres some more :)

    Q. What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?
    A. Fathers Day!

    Q. How do you start an argument with a chav?
    A. Speak!

    Q. What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
    A. The burglar.

    A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
    "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

    Q. What do you do if you run over a chav?
    A. Reverse just to make sure

    Q. Why do Chavs always travel around in pairs?
    A. One can read and one can write!

    Q. What do you call chavs with a brain?
    A. A crowd.

    Q. What do you call a Chav at college.
    A. The janitor.
     
    Certifications: A+, MCP, MCDST, AutoCAD
    WIP: Rennovating my house
  8. leeroy2612

    leeroy2612 Byte Poster

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6LMpUPRjVQ

    kersal massive YO
     
    Certifications: ecdl 1,2
    WIP: A+, mcse
  9. Stevie

    Stevie Byte Poster

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    These were on another forum that I'm on. Still made me laugh though :D
     
    WIP: A+, Network+, Security+
  10. Boycie
    Honorary Member

    Boycie Senior Beer Tester

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    Nice one Mick :D
     
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  11. Raffaz

    Raffaz Kebab Lover Gold Member

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    I forgot about these, i posted this 3 months ago, they still make me laugh tho :)
     
    Certifications: A+, MCP, MCDST, AutoCAD
    WIP: Rennovating my house
  12. Kraven

    Kraven Kilobyte Poster

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    These jokes are pretty good. I seriously hate chavs, my area is full of them. To be honest I don't want to start ranting, so I wont.

    Kraven
     
    Certifications: Network+, MCSA, 70-680
    WIP: A+, 70-685
  13. wagnerk
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    wagnerk aka kitkatninja Moderator

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    Good ones :lol:

    -Ken
     
    Certifications: CITP, PGCert, BSc, HNC, LCGI, PTLLS, MCT, MCITP, MCTS, MCSE, MCSA:M, MCSA, MCDST, MCP, MTA, MCAS, MOS (Master), A+, N+, S+, ACA, VCA, etc... & 2nd Degree Black Belt
    WIP: PGDip
  14. Kraven

    Kraven Kilobyte Poster

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    Nicked this from urban dictionary.

    CHAV

    Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18 ) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out.

    Kraven
     
    Certifications: Network+, MCSA, 70-680
    WIP: A+, 70-685

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