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Celebrity Casting for LOTR via Slashdot

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by tripwire45, Jul 26, 2004.

  1. tripwire45
    Honorary Member

    tripwire45 Zettabyte Poster

    David Brin recently sent me an amusing idea for celebrity casting for LOTR. He's got some good ones (below), but of course, feel free to add your own ideas to the comments.

    Hey, I'm watching a Tolkien bography right now and an interesting tid bit from it I'd like to share. The Beatles wanted to do a Lord of the Rings film. John was going to be Gollum, Paul-Frodo, Ringo-Samwise, and George was going to be Gandalf. By the time the Fab Four found a director the film rights had already been sold. Could have been interesting. What do you think, Jim Morrison as Saurman, Elvis as Bill the Pony?<<

    Heaven help me, it got my head spinning. As a former denizen of that era, my own offerings would have to be:

    Momma Cass as Shelob.

    Teddy Kennedy as Faramir (before he ate enough to qualify as Shelob.)

    Mick Jagger as Legolas (with a twist)

    Frank Zappa as Gimli

    William Shatner as Boromir

    J. Edgar Hoover as Bilbo

    As Merry and Pippin?..... The SmothersBrothers or Sonny&Cher

    Jerry Garcia as the King of the Dead

    Tiny Tim as Galadriel

    Timothy Leary as Tom Bombadil (Though George Carlin could pull it off)

    Wormtongue played by Attorney Gen. John Mitchell

    Eric Idle as Eowyn the warrior-maid of Rohan (though Michael Palin is tempting)

    James Brown as King of the Ents (singing "Ow! It's a man's world..." and "I knew that I wood.")

    Meat Loaf as the Balrog (played with Marlowean angst, and once Moria with feeling.)

    The undead Ring Wraiths must be led by Kieth Richards,... ...plus (at full Valkyrie volume) Martha Mitchell, Joni Mitchell, Nancy Reagan, Nancy Sinatra, Joan Baez, Joan Rivers, Donna Summers, Don Ameche and that Dy-no-mite guy.

    Orcs: Mister T and... oh, let him play em all. And I pity the fool who resists.

    Lorne Greene as Denethor the Steward of Gondor... (Richard Nixon turned down the part)

    Werner Von Braun as Saruman (Sorry Jim M., but instead you can play Aragorn, son of Araplane)

    My favorite:
    L.Ron Hubbard as (who else?) the mysterious and secretive cult leader Elrond! (Which imitates? Life or fiction?)

    ... and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver...

    Of course Leonard Nimoy would both direct and sing background, with a suitably elf-spockish cameo.
    Gotta find a role for Goldie Hawn.
    And Raquel, please, in that cave outfit, pretty please. Luan-n-n-na.
    Ah, what days those were....

    David Brin

    (Scientist/author David Brin's novels, including Earth and The Postman (filmed in 1998), are translated in 20 languages. His non fiction book -- The Transparent Society - won the Freedom of Speech Award of the American Library Association. THE LIFE EATERS - a recent graphic novel - explores a chilling alternative outcome of World War II. His more serious ruminations about JRR Tolkien can be found at his site.
    Certifications: A+ and Network+

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