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BEWARE-The idiots are taking over...

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by j33rablade, Feb 16, 2010.

  1. j33rablade

    j33rablade Bit Poster


    My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece.
    She said, 'You gave me too much money.'
    I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'
    She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request.
    I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.'
    The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change..

    Do not confuse the clerks at MacDonald's.


    We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
    I thought for a moment, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
    He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'
    I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'

    We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park, near Watford.


    I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the
    Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign
    On our road.
    The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don't
    Think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

    Story from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire.


    My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She
    Asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
    He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce.

    From South Oxhey, Hertfordshire.


    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport
    employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
    Knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I
    know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

    Happened at Luton Airport


    The traffic light on the corner buzzes when it's on red and safe to cross the
    road. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine.
    She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
    I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
    Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

    She is a Local County Council employee in Harrow, Middlesex..


    When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our
    Car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
    Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
    Driver's door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
    Handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!'
    His reply: 'I know. I already did that side.'

    This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans, Hertfordshire.

    They walk among us...
    and then...

    There are more of them about then you think.

    At the start of last week Read Write Web wrote an article regarding Facebook and how it wants to create an integrated login with other sites. i.e., you login to Facebook and you’re automatically logged into things like hotmail etc. On the 10th February it had so many hits that if you searched Google for “Facebook Login” it was the top listed search result, even higher than the actual Facebook login page.

    Now, the problem here is that apparently there are a LOT of people who are too stupid to know the address for Facebook so what they do each morning is search for “Facebook Login” and they click on the top link. These people, as you can imagine, are stupid. In fact they’re so stupid that when they got to Read Write Web they did not understand that it was not Facebook.

    Here are their comments;


    Note that, by lunchtime, they had received so many comments that they had to change the article to clearly state that they are not Facebook.

    Stupid people....they are everywhere.:twisted::twisted:
    Certifications: CCNA MCP
  2. Gingerdave

    Gingerdave Megabyte Poster

    Nice, thanks for the laugh
    Certifications: A+,MCP, MCDST, VCP5 /VCP-DV 5, MCTS AD+ Net Inf 2008, MCSA 2008
    WIP: MCSA 2012
  3. dmarsh

    dmarsh Terabyte Poster

    Yep, this kinda thing just makes me want to leave the country, anyone watch Dispatches last night ?
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2010
    Certifications: CITP, BSc, HND, SCJP, SCJD, SCWCD, SCBCD, SCEA, N+, Sec+, Proj+, Server+, Linux+, MCTS, MCPD, MCSA, MCITP, CCDH
  4. Josiahb

    Josiahb Gigabyte Poster

    yup, amused me.

    My girlfriend had one yesterday:

    *phone rings*
    GF: Hello
    Call Centre Muppet (CCM): Hello is that Mr .... ........... (My father)
    GF: No.... I'm a woman
    CCM: Oh, is that Mrs ............. (My mother) then
    GF: No, I'm their sons girlfriend
    CCM: Are you immediate family?
    GF: No, I'm their sons girlfriend
    CCM: Are you immediate family?
    GF: No, because I'm their sons girlfriend
    CCM: oh ok, I'll call back later then.

    Certifications: A+, Network+, MCDST, ACA – Mac Integration 10.10
  5. ericrollo

    ericrollo Megabyte Poster

    Its was shocking but i was expecting it.

    Two of the teachers teaching HND at college don't know how to program in VB.NET even though they teach it and one of them did not know what a PCI bus was. They are awful i remember one of the units the when "Lecturer" gave us a website he said he made when at the bottom it had the text saying it was a template made by a web design company.
    Certifications: MOS Master, A+, MCP 271
    WIP: HND, Programming, Another Job
  6. westernkings

    westernkings Gigabyte Poster

    The change thing was so true, I was going through the drivethrough and did that exact thing and the geezer hadn't the slightest idea what I was getting at! ****ing dip ****
  7. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

    I had a company phone me at home, and one of the quesions they asked me was if I was currently in prison.

    I was just so tempted to say yes.
    Certifications: MCT, MCTS, i-Net+, CIW CI, Prince2, MSP, MCSD
  8. dmarsh

    dmarsh Terabyte Poster

    You should have said that you'd just broken out for the weekend, but not to tell anybody ! :curtain
    Certifications: CITP, BSc, HND, SCJP, SCJD, SCWCD, SCBCD, SCEA, N+, Sec+, Proj+, Server+, Linux+, MCTS, MCPD, MCSA, MCITP, CCDH
  9. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

    Good one.
    Yes, I could have had a bit of fun with that.
    Unfortunately I always think of these things afterwards.
    At the time all I can come up with is 'no thanks, I've already got one'.

    I've always wanted to have a laugh with double glazing salesmen.
    You know 'Win-dows? What would I need them for? To see out of you say? Double glazing? Wow, is there anything science can't do these days?
    Certifications: MCT, MCTS, i-Net+, CIW CI, Prince2, MSP, MCSD
  10. Alex399

    Alex399 Byte Poster

    Made me laugh, funny stuff

    The intellectually challenged freind though I was expecting it alot more from when thats mentioned and saying the buzzer sounds when the red light comes on can confuse the poor guy :stpd, saying the green man lights up when the buzzer sounds would make more sense really, if your sat in a car you could say the red light appears just before you hear the buzzer :D (I am incredibly critical but I just wanted to point out the flaw :biggrin)
    WIP: A+, N+, MCP, MCDST
  11. Josiahb

    Josiahb Gigabyte Poster

    My sister once responded with 'No, we live in a greenhouse'.

    You could of course also use the anti-telemarketing script.
    Certifications: A+, Network+, MCDST, ACA – Mac Integration 10.10
  12. derkit

    derkit Gigabyte Poster

    Worryingly, most of the above mentioned places are within 5 miles of me..........

    Thanks for the laugh though!
    Certifications: MBCS, BSc(Hons), Cert(Maths), A+, Net+, MCDST, ITIL-F v3, MCSA
    WIP: 70-293

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