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Bad Day at the Office??

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Suttar, May 12, 2008.

  1. Suttar

    Suttar Byte Poster

    Got this in an e-mail, thought I would share,

    Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

    Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

    Needless to say, she won.


    Hi Sue,

    Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office.

    I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad
    after all.

    Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

    As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.

    I wear a suit to the office.

    It's a wetsuit.

    This time of year the water is quite cool.

    So what we do to keep warm is this:

    We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater.

    This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, then pumps it down to the diver
    through a garden hose which is taped to the air hose.

    Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

    What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit
    with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch.

    So, of course, I scratched it.

    This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bum started to burn! I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

    In agony I realized what had happened.

    The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

    Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.

    However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate.

    When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my bum.

    I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
    along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

    Needless to say I aborted the dive.

    I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to
    begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

    As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
    on my bum as soon as I got in the chamber.

    The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poo for two days because my bum was swollen shut.

    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ar*e.

    Now repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.

    Remember whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

    May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
    Certifications: Hnc Comp & Bsc Networking, ITIL v3
  2. Mof

    Mof Megabyte Poster

    Oh dear that made me laugh so much i had to spit my tea out:lolbang
    WIP: C++ and A+
  3. TimoftheC

    TimoftheC Kilobyte Poster

    That's bleeding hilarious :p

    Don't make this place where I work any less crap but made me laugh
    Certifications: A+; Network+
    WIP: MCDST???
  4. Suttar

    Suttar Byte Poster

    I take no responsibility for any damages as a result of you spitting tea everywhere:biggrin
    Certifications: Hnc Comp & Bsc Networking, ITIL v3
  5. Tinus1959

    Tinus1959 Gigabyte Poster

    This is what we call a "wegkomt" which could be translated to "get out". WEGKOMT stands for "Weer Een Golf Koffie Over Mijn Toetsenbord" or in English "Another gulf of coffee spilled on my keyboard".:biggrin
    Certifications: See my signature
  6. damienj3

    damienj3 Byte Poster

    Not bad at all lol.
    Certifications: mcse
    WIP: MCSE 2003

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