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Application: McDonald's in Florida

Discussion in 'Just for Laughs' started by Mr.Cheeks, Mar 3, 2006.

  1. Mr.Cheeks

    Mr.Cheeks 1st ever Gold Member! Gold Member

    This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

    Name: Greg Bulmash.

    Sex: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

    Desired Position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

    Desired Salary: $185,000 a year, plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    Education: Yes.

    Last position held: Target for middle management hostility.

    Salary: Less than I'm worth.

    Most Notable Achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

    Reason for Leaving: It sucked.

    Hours Available to Work: Any.

    Preferred Hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m. on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

    Do You Have Any Special Skills? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

    May We Contact Your Current Employer? If I had one, would I be here?

    Do You Have Any Physical Conditions That Would Prohibit You From Lifting Up To 50 lbs? Of what?

    Do You Have a Car? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs"?

    Have You Received Any Special Awards Or Recognition? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.

    What Would You Like To Be Doing In Five Years? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    Do You Certify That the Above is True and Complete to the Best of Your Knowledge? Yes. Absolutely.

    Sign Here: Aries.
  2. zimbo
    Honorary Member

    zimbo Petabyte Poster

    Nice one! :D
    Certifications: B.Sc, MCDST & MCSA
    WIP: M.Sc - Computer Forensics
  3. simongrahamuk
    Honorary Member

    simongrahamuk Hmmmmmmm?

    Good Stuff! :biggrin
  4. hbroomhall

    hbroomhall Petabyte Poster Gold Member

    Have a look here :ohmy

    Certifications: ECDL A+ Network+ i-Net+
    WIP: Server+
  5. noelg24

    noelg24 Terabyte Poster

    wonder if I will get the job with answers like that...at least he was honest...nice one...
    Certifications: A+
    WIP: my life
  6. Mr.Cheeks

    Mr.Cheeks 1st ever Gold Member! Gold Member

    Have I been told fibbs*!*!*!*
  7. JonnyMX

    JonnyMX Petabyte Poster

    I recently read 'letters from a nut'.
    It was great. A guy in the US made a book out of just writing completely daft letters to institutions and publishing them along with the replies. What a lovely idea.
    Among my favorites were a letter to a hotel asking if he could bring his own curtains, and one to lost property to see if a ceremonial sword had been found in the toilet.
    Now, being in the US, these all received curteous and prompt replies (well, I guess the ones that didn't never made it to the book, that would be pointless). Over in the UK letters like that would go straight in the bin.

    So would a CV like that one.
    Certifications: MCT, MCTS, i-Net+, CIW CI, Prince2, MSP, MCSD
  8. phoenix510

    phoenix510 Byte Poster

    Certifications: ECDL, MOS WORD & Excel, MCDST
    WIP: A+ & 70-270

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