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Am going for it!

Discussion in 'Employment & Jobs' started by greenbrucelee, Sep 7, 2007.

  1. greenbrucelee
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    greenbrucelee Zettabyte Poster

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    I am going to apply for the job I asked people advice on THANKS GUYS :D

    But before I do I would like any tips on the covering letter and CV I have attached to this post please.

    Any comments would be most welcome.
     
    Certifications: A+, N+, MCDST, Security+, 70-270
    WIP: 70-620 or 70-680?
  2. dmarsh

    dmarsh Terabyte Poster

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    For godsake man ! remove the references ! :D

    Otherwise looks ok to me.
     
    Certifications: CITP, BSc, HND, SCJP, SCJD, SCWCD, SCBCD, SCEA, N+, Sec+, Proj+, Server+, Linux+, MCTS, MCPD, MCSA, MCITP, CCDH
  3. newkoba

    newkoba Byte Poster

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    also on the a+ portion you state "currently i am self studying for this presently" or something of that nature, you can delete either the first or last word describing the time frame and make your grammar a little better.

    after all grammar is the #1 reason employers here in the states toss out resumes.
     
    Certifications: Security + and CEH
    WIP: CWNA and CWSP
  4. greenbrucelee
    Highly Decorated Member Award

    greenbrucelee Zettabyte Poster

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    Am not too bothere that people see the references, no junk mail will get to the imaging manager one cos stuff like that gets blocked automatically in this place.
     
    Certifications: A+, N+, MCDST, Security+, 70-270
    WIP: 70-620 or 70-680?
  5. Bambino1506

    Bambino1506 Megabyte Poster

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    Good luck mate, keep my fingers crossed for you, you deserve it.

    "This type of position is really appealing to me"


    Would say to cut that covering letter down a bit mate, short and snappy, get ur foot in the door and impress in the interview.
     
    Certifications: MCP,MCDST,MCSA
    WIP: CCA
  6. Mathematix

    Mathematix Megabyte Poster

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    Lots of grammar and punctuation errors in there, mate! Get them seen to before sending them off.
     
    Certifications: BSc(Hons) Comp Sci, BCS Award of Merit
    WIP: Not doing certs. Computer geek.
  7. ffreeloader

    ffreeloader Terabyte Poster

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    I have a couple of suggestions for rewording...

    I would reword this something along the following lines.

    First, I would concatenate the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs. Then I would do some rewording along the following lines, but personalize them, don't use my words....

    Look to be not be quite so wordy, and try to not use the same word in the same paragraph several times. It's difficult to learn, and takes time to do. You have to figure out several different ways to write things, and then run it by several people to see what works best, as it's very difficult for anyone to objectively edit what they have written. I know when I write that I don't see my mistakes until sometimes months later as I knew what I was meaning to say, so every time I re-read it I read it with my inner bias. It wasn't until time had given me objectivity that I saw my mistakes. It also works the other way too. I've also gone back and read things I've written and wondered if it was really me that had written it, because I thought it was very well done. I couldn't believe I had communicated the ideas expressed that well.

    PS

    If you have a computer lab at home, tell her about how you use it in your studies. Any mention of hands-on is a very good thing. It does wonders in helping to dispose of the always present and felt, but usually invisible, 800 lb elephant in the room that is named, braindumping.
     
    Certifications: MCSE, MCDBA, CCNA, A+
    WIP: LPIC 1
  8. Arroryn
    Honorary Member

    Arroryn we're all dooooooomed

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    I've put some potential rewording in red, and 'saved as'.

    These are only my opinions, so you don't have to agree with what I've written.

    Plus, I'm being harassed to go out and watch 'Run, Fat Boy, Run', so I haven't been as thorough as I would have liked.

    Like the others have said, go over the punctuation and grammar. Try to mention in your CV and cover letter, a little more about yourself that fulfils their requirements for the job. Also, try to 'big yourself up' a little more.

    I'll try to expand on this later, if indeed, you want me to.
     
    Certifications: A+, N+, MCDST, 70-410, 70-411
    WIP: Modern Languages BA

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